I have endured a lot of smear and hatred since Casey was killed and
especially since I became the so-called "Face" of the American anti-war
movement. Especially since I renounced any tie I have remaining with the
Democratic Party, I have been further trashed on such "liberal blogs" as
the Democratic Underground. Being called an "attention whore" and being
told "good riddance" are some of the more milder rebukes.
I have come to some heartbreaking conclusions this Memorial Day Morning.
These are not spur of the moment reflections, but things I have been
meditating on for about a year now. The conclusions that I have slowly
and very reluctantly come to are very heartbreaking to me.
The first conclusion is that I was the darling of the so-called left as
long as I limited my protests to George Bush and the Republican Party.
Of course, I was slandered and libeled by the right as a "tool" of the
Democratic Party. This label was to marginalize me and my message. How
could a woman have an original thought, or be working outside of our "two-party"
However, when I started to hold the Democratic Party to the same
standards that I held the Republican Party, support for my cause started
to erode and the "left" started labeling me with the same slurs that the
right used. I guess no one paid attention to me when I said that the
issue of peace and people dying for no reason is not a matter of "right
or left", but "right and wrong."
I am deemed a radical because I believe that partisan politics should be
left to the wayside when hundreds of thousands of people are dying for a
war based on lies that is supported by Democrats and Republican alike.
It amazes me that people who are sharp on the issues and can zero in
like a laser beam on lies, misrepresentations, and political expediency
when it comes to one party refuse to recognize it in their own party.
Blind party loyalty is dangerous whatever side it occurs on. People of
the world look on us Americans as jokes because we allow our political
leaders so much murderous latitude and if we don't find alternatives to
this corrupt "two" party system our Representative Republic will die and
be replaced with what we are rapidly descending into with nary a check
or balance: a fascist corporate wasteland. I am demonized because I
don't see party affiliation or nationality when I look at a person, I
see that person's heart. If someone looks, dresses, acts, talks and
votes like a Republican, then why do they deserve support just because
he/she calls him/herself a Democrat?
I have also reached the conclusion that if I am doing what I am doing
because I am an "attention whore" then I really need to be committed. I
have invested everything I have into trying to bring peace with justice
to a country that wants neither. If an individual wants both, then
normally he/she is not willing to do more than walk in a protest march
or sit behind his/her computer criticizing others. I have spent every
available cent I got from the money a "grateful" country gave me when
they killed my son and every penny that I have received in speaking or
book fees since then. I have sacrificed a 29 year marriage and have
traveled for extended periods of time away from Casey's brother and
sisters and my health has suffered and my hospital bills from last
summer (when I almost died) are in collection because I have used all my
energy trying to stop this country from slaughtering innocent human
beings. I have been called every despicable name that small minds can
think of and have had my life threatened many times.
The most devastating conclusion that I reached this morning, however,
was that Casey did indeed die for nothing. His precious lifeblood
drained out in a country far away from his family who loves him, killed
by his own country which is beholden to and run by a war machine that
even controls what we think. I have tried ever since he died to make his
sacrifice meaningful. Casey died for a country which cares more about
who will be the next American Idol than how many people will be killed
in the next few months while Democrats and Republicans play politics
with human lives. It is so painful to me to know that I bought into this
system for so many years and Casey paid the price for that allegiance. I
failed my boy and that hurts the most.
I have also tried to work within a peace movement that often puts
personal egos above peace and human life. This group won't work with
that group; he won't attend an event if she is going to be there; and
why does Cindy Sheehan get all the attention anyway? It is hard to work
for peace when the very movement that is named after it has so many
Our brave young men and women in Iraq have been abandoned there
indefinitely by their cowardly leaders who move them around like pawns
on a chessboard of destruction and the people of Iraq have been doomed
to death and fates worse than death by people worried more about
elections than people. However, in five, ten, or fifteen years, our
troops will come limping home in another abject defeat and ten or twenty
years from then, our children's children will be seeing their loved ones
die for no reason, because their grandparents also bought into this
corrupt system. George Bush will never be impeached because if the
Democrats dig too deeply, they may unearth a few skeletons in their own
graves and the system will perpetuate itself in perpetuity.
I am going to take whatever I have left and go home. I am going to go
home and be a mother to my surviving children and try to regain some of
what I have lost. I will try to maintain and nurture some very positive
relationships that I have found in the journey that I was forced into
when Casey died and try to repair some of the ones that have fallen
apart since I began this single-minded crusade to try and change a
paradigm that is now, I am afraid, carved in immovable, unbendable and
rigidly mendacious marble.
Camp Casey has served its purpose. It's for sale. Anyone want to buy
five beautiful acres in Crawford, Texas? I will consider any reasonable
offer. I hear George Bush will be moving out soon, too…which makes the
property even more valuable.
This is my resignation letter as the "face" of the American anti-war
movement. This is not my "Checkers" moment, because I will never give up
trying to help people in the world who are harmed by the empire of the
good old US of A, but I am finished working in, or outside of this
system. This system forcefully resists being helped and eats up the
people who try to help it. I am getting out before it totally consumes
me or anymore people that I love and the rest of my resources.
Good-bye America…you are not the country that I love and I finally
realized no matter how much I sacrifice, I can't make you be that
country unless you want it.
It's up to you now.
May 28, 2007
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